Be unique, be original

                One of the best things that happened to me in Bhubaneswar was the fact that I was invited to be the editor/reviewer of my children’s school magazine. I was really heartened and honoured to be acknowledged as a person capable of executing this job. I successfully carried out this job for three years. During this process, I was deeply impressed by the literary skills of a lot of students. At the same time, it was horrifying that some of the others did not have any qualms in plainly lifting off entire articles, poems and essays right off the internet and passing them as their own.

                I have to mention that these acts of plagiarisms could not have been performed by the students alone as some of them were as young as 3^rd or 4^th graders. They were definitely not capable of surfing the net for a perfect poem or a certain write-up. These acts would certainly be done by the grown-ups in their house (some of these magazine submissions would be a print-out, you see?). It completely baffled me that the parents (or some other adult) instigated their kids to cheat the teachers and in turn, themselves, by simply copying the work of others. Aren’t we disrespecting the unknown person’s time and effort spent on creating that poem or article? By encouraging such acts from childhood itself, how can you expect this person to grow up and respect the time, effort, work and money of others?

                What delighted me at the same time were the scores of original poems, stories and essays of many students. It warmed my heart that there are a lot more students perfectly capable of coming up with original ideas of their own. It didn’t matter that some of them were just ramblings :), but at least, they were the works of their own imagination!

                I am proud to say that I did a thorough job of filtering the plagiarized ones out and retaining the original works. Although I was not able to address the children and counsel them as to what is right from wrong, I hope to convey to many more aspiring young writers that ‘No  matter what, stick to your own thoughts, ideas and opinions while penning down anything and people will respect you for that’.

                And parents, please don’t encourage bad values in childhood and lament about their character later on.

Arranged marriage anyone?

I get surprised to see that even today, youngsters are going in for arranged marriages. Not that I have anything against arranged marriages, but in this age and time, when everybody is so aware of what’s happening in the world at the very instant it happens, it becomes a little disconcerting to still see people agreeing to marry a person they have known only for a few days or even hours.

That said, I have heard people talk in hushed tones, about today’s girls’, supposedly impudent, questions to the boys  

a.        “Are there any old furniture (read parents) in your house?”

b.        “Do you have to give up your salary to your parents?”

c.        “What about my salary? Do I also have to give it to you?”

d.        “Do we have to stay with your parents after marriage?”

e.        “Am I allowed to take care of my parents?”

I then actually wonder – are these questions really impudent? I agree, the choice of words is rather unfortunate but the concerns are very real. Have the boys stopped and asked themselves as to why such questions have arisen? Over a period of time, the girls have witnessed the plight of their mothers or aunts or sisters or friends who have suffered for one or the other of these issues. Parents in India do not have the concept of letting their children lead their lives even after their marriage. I, myself, have witnessed many a marriage broken because of the meddling of the parents / siblings. Given these facts, it’s no wonder that the present day, financially independent, empowered woman would want to know whether the guy is a puppet at his parents’ hands.

There has been many a circumstance when the guy is completely controlled by his parents and even his spending power is at the mercy of his parents. Is it any wonder that the girl would like to know, upfront, as to the financial status of the boy? Isn’t her concern about shouldering financial responsibilities together valid?

Believe me when I say that these questions have arisen because of numerous incidents of women suffering as they didn’t and couldn’t have a say in any of the decisions of their own household. As earlier women couldn’t contribute financially to the household, they were treated sub-par and not involved in any critical decisions by their husbands or their in-laws. They couldn’t even take care of their parents and mutely suffered the agony of watching their parents needing financial support and companionship.

All this history has impressed upon the minds of these young girls and they are questioning their would-be partners as to their stance on all these critical issues. I, for one, don’t think this is wrong at all (and I reiterate – the girls could voice their intentions in better, more acceptable terms). The guys need to recognize where these concerns are originating from and address them with empathy.

As more and more girls are embracing being single, it becomes imperative for the guys (if they don’t want to remain single!!) to accept a woman’s right to lead her life with her voice getting heard too.

Mr. Modi stands alone!

After a long time, our dear friend from Bhubaneswar visited us and as is the case when he is around, we spent a few delightful hours discussing a lot of issues. At one stage, the talk turned to our Prime Minister, Mr.Narendra Modi. When my husband wondered whether Mr. Modi is able to deliver on his promises, our friend said an interesting thing. He said that he believes Mr. Modi has very honourable intentions but he seems to be a lone crusader! And then he went on to explain that we, Indians, do not know or understand the concept of following rules. Mr.Modi can go on about ‘Swachch Bharath’, ‘clean governance’, ‘just punishment’ and other items of his campaign agenda, but how will he implement them without the willing support of the various governments and people?

                For one such example, take the case of traffic (of course, being in Bangalore, this is the prime issue of all the Bngaloreans) on our roads. People don’t seem to care which rule they are violating as long as they don’t get caught! And even if they do, what is the highest fine they need to pay? Probably Rs.500! Such people don’t mind throwing a few 500s the traffic policemen way (sometimes, it is not even 500. The traffic cop walks away if you bribe him a meagre Rs.100 or Rs.200) as long as they get to break a few rules and get away with it most of the times. Don’t think these people are uneducated. Most of them are software engineers who have visited other western countries several times.

                Now, I’d like to bring to your notice that the same people, when they are in the US or other European countries, follow the traffic rule to a ‘T’! Why? Because, the retribution for violating any rules there is swift and extremely painful. When I meant painful, it only means that, not only do you have to pay a staggering amount in fine, your vehicle insurance premium increases, points are added against your driving capabilities (you will lose your driving license when the points reach a certain number) and in addition, you will have to attend some ‘safe-driving’ classes to improve your driving skills! So, imagine the time, effort and money you are spending for the mere act of jumping a red signal!

                Following rules is taught in every school, by every teacher. But a child spends 6-8 hours in a day at school. The rest of the day, who does he see and be with? His parents. If he sees his dad (his hero), in his Mercedes car (no less!), driving on the wrong side of the road or jumping a signal, taking random U-turns or overtaking on the wrong side, what values will he imbibe? Will he listen to his moral science teacher when she is teaching about traffic rules and respecting other drivers? These lessons are only for passing the exam. In real life, he sees his parents breaking rules all the time and getting away with it most of the time.

                The same parents don’t have any qualms in sending their children to school on scooters even though they are underage. They don’t realize that they are not only endangering the lives of their own children but also of that of others who may come in the way of the reckless driving of these kids.

                Coming back to Mr. Modi. He is a man of good intentions. But to implement his ideas, he needs the support of his people, every one of us. Why don’t we start practising good values at home, so that our children go out into the world and be a shining example to others? Every one of us has to chip in to make India a better place to live.